Leslie B. Neustadt

Ode to My Ass

It’s the first syllable
on my way
to assonance,
a form of assent,
amass. Not hourglass.
More direct than derrière.
Cruder than bum,
but not by much.
a bowl of a hole,
it expands when I sit
A great epithet.
I came to know it
as a tushy touché
or was it torchière
Now, it’s a flabby
bottom boat.
No one’s making
a pass at my ass.
Never was world class.
But it holds me up,
keeps me seated.
Sometimes it tweets.
Though the ending
ain’t sweet,
my ass still got sass.


Leslie NeustadtLeslie B. Neustadt is a retired attorney, poet, and collagist. Her book, Bearing Fruit: A Poetic Journey, was published in 2014. She has donated several thousand dollars to not-for-profits from the proceeds. Her work has been published in a wide variety of journals and anthologies. She is a member of the Board of Directors for the International Women’s Writing Guild and is a member of the Hudson Valley Writers Guild. She is involved in several peer writing groups and enjoys the rich offerings of workshops online.

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